The note was written in a scrawl

Chapter 24) The worries / the Forgive card
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Forgetting himself the farther he drove up the hill away from Blacktown, Joel was angry, and getting angrier, almost scraping the stone wall with his car. He didn't even see Alton Miller standing by the barn waving. The nerve of that Negro woman telling him off like that.
Heart pulsing, fists clenched on the wheel, sweat pouring down his face .... there was no way he was going to take it. Those damn people and the way they act.

Pulling in the alley behind his house, he couldn't stop shaking.
He needed to find out why they thought the Klan was coming.
Yeah that would fix it. That old lady.
They know what happened to the deputy.... and the bank robbery .... yeah that's .... Uhhhhha .... he realized his head was splitting apart.
It hurt ... bad.

When he got out to open the garage door, it felt like his heart was bleeding down his shirt.
There was no blood, but his shirt was soaked.
Where'd this water come from?
Next thing he noticed was staring at the headliner.

Something was pushing on his chest and for some reason he was laying back across both seats.

What happened? Something was on top of him but he couldn't see it and his hands couldn't feel it, but it was there.
Maybe if I could ... gasping.

He started panicking and wanted to run to the house .... Oh ... no ... no ... not like this.
Oh please, not like this. I want to see my family. They can't see me dead.
Ruth and Joddie and new baby, oh ... his beautiful daughters. More than god could give him, he loved them.

Suddenly his father was standing at the car door looking at him, saying something. Joel strained to hear but the image disappeared ... his dear father ... come back .... he died young, and now ...
Joel, squeaked out ... Dad ...  uhhh ... why is my turn so soon?

The question calmed his mind. His father was strong. Built the feed store with own his own hands, with help from Negroes. They worked through the cold months, even in the rain.
He remembered watching them set the big limestone blocks for the foundation after they brought them up from the depot on a wagon with 3 mules.
By the time the rafters went up, the whole town came out to help. Farmers and folks from Abbeyville. It was the biggest building for miles around. 
When the store opened in the spring, just before planting, the bankers and important people showed up and gave speeches. The picnic lasted 3 days. Everybody loved his father.

His chest felt better. It was a relief. Next thing he knew he was at his own back door and didn't remember how he got there.
Stumbling into the house, he fell on the kitchen floor.
Ruth screamed.
Joddie heard the scream, jumped from bed and hurriedly limped down the steps.
Ruth was already on the phone calling Dr. Mason.

Dr Mason's office lady kept asking what's going on?
He can’t breathe? Is he breathing? What's going on?

Joddie grabbed the phone and Ruth sat back down crying and holding Joel's head.
The office lady asked, can he talk?
Yes .... he's talking.
Does he make sense?
Uhhh yeah ... ok well ... now he wants cold water.

I'll get him cold water Mom.

The phone was left dangling while Joddie took two steps to the sink, before grabbing the phone again.
Is he drinking?
Yes. He says he feels better now.

Oh wait, he's shaking ... and now he's ... he' crying ... on his side ... now he's on his back again.
What's he doing?
He's rolling around ... and crying.
Can he breathe?

Is he breathing, Mom. Ok, yes he's breathing ... but he's crying.
We need help. Where's the doctor?

I sent the boy, but it sounds like he's got the worries.
The worries?

Mom ... she says he's got the worries.
The worries?

The office lady added, well it's called hysteria, but men sometimes get the worries.

Mom, she says Dad's got the worries.
The worries?
That's what she said. It's hysteria, but when men get it.

For some reason that started Joel laughing.
Ruth was crying and squeezing his head ... it's a wonder the man could do anything ... but now he was laughing.

With Joel laughing, Ruth started laughing between the sobs, then Joddie joined them on the floor.
Next thing you know all three were twisted like a ball of snakes on the floor laughing ... about nothing ... except maybe it was a great day and Joel wasn't dying.

The phone was dangling off the table. The office lady still yelling, what's going on? Is he dead?
 
At least the office lady was mostly respectful not to gossip about important folks.
Dr Mason had warned her ... frequently ... to some avail ... on occasion ... and nobody was on the party line right then.

Maggie came in the front door and heard laughing from the kitchen. She walked in and saw her family laying on their backs. The place had turned into an insane asylum.

A minute later Howard and the oldest sister Bonnie came in the front door with the new baby, just in time for the scheduled lunch and they likewise discovered the family laying on the kitchen floor.

Joel yelled out in a big happy voice, Howard how are you? I was just getting ready to tell everybody about Big Harvester.

Bonnie already knew about Harvester and was all smiles and confused why everybody was on the floor, then together with Howard, who was now sitting in a chair, and Joel, still on his back, told Ruth, Joddie and Maggie the good news about the store and best yet, that Howard would be stepping up to the top spot.
It was perfect since Joel's health was apparently declining with the pressures sorta of built up over time.

That's when Dr. Mason rushed through the back door which was still wide open and discovered the scene, highly concerned about Joel's health, and about Joddie who seemed a fast recovery.
A quick exam as they lay on the floor revealed nothing alarming, but the doctor ordered Joel to take it easy the rest of the day, drink more water and maybe think about cutting back on his workload.
Ruth still laying on the floor next to her husband, asked the doctor if she should cut back too? That started everybody laughing again.
The doctor agreed, and Ruth invited him to stay for lunch.
He declined, expecting to be at Latchy's after his morning appointments.

Naturally, the lady at the doctor's office was still listening on the phone, until Maggie picked it up and asked, who's on the phone?
That caused Ruth to go, oh my, which got everybody laughing again.

Joel, Ruth and Joddie were helped up and over to the dining room table. Maggie got them big glasses of water then served lunch with a bit of help from Bonnie, while refusing to let Ruth help. She'd done enough and deserved to sit and rest next to her husband

Lunch was amazing.
Howard was beaming with pride, happy beyond words and Bonnie full of chitter chatter over the new baby and all the fuss.
What a good baby, fast asleep. The baby, the new store, it was a huge opportunity, more than Howard ever imagined in his life.

Joel fell back into it and started thinking about Blacktown again. That damn woman. Instantly, the splitting headache was back on top and forced him to bow his head and look at the plate, then forced him to look at the Negroes that helped his father build the feed store ... the three Bell brothers.
They were up in the rafters. It wasn't his father. It was the Bell brothers: Louis, Marque and ... Joel forgot the last one.
They hoisted the timbers up to the roof. They hammered the spikes, and came every day, even the day it snowed. They barely had a coat to share. Joel's father bought them new shoes.
And what happened to them afterwards? Who remembers? Not Joel. But right now, it was better he honor the memory of those men and his father than die in front of his family.

Joel silently whispered, thank you dad, I will honor my family ... and by doing that, the forgive card was laid to calm, unknown to Joel that the Deck of Life blessed him two cards, Poker and Forgive ... offering three chances and two choices and he made the best of each.

Joddie realized she felt safe for the first time in years.
It was sad but a relief that Bob was gone.
It was exciting that her baby was on the way even if everybody was gushing over the white baby and didn't mention her baby.
Her life was still apart, still secret, and it was sad being ushered to the side, but Joddie knew she could speak for herself when it was time ... but not today.

Ruth was proud of her daughters.
All of them were becoming full women.
She had seen the strain on Joel, and now Howard would carry the weight of the store and she would have more years with her husband.

Maggie saw her family together and wanted to run upstairs and cry from happiness or relief, but forced herself not to.
She should have let go the numbness and conquored it with joy, but other things were still bothering her.

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