The note was written in a scrawl

Chapter 25) The worries / the Forgive card
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Forgetting himself the farther he drove up the hill away from Blacktown, Joel was angry, and getting angrier, almost scraping the stone wall with his car. He didn't even see Alton Miller standing by the barn waving. The nerve of that Negro woman telling him off like that.
Heart pulsing, fists clenched on the wheel, sweat pouring down his face .... there was no way he was going to take it. Those damn people and the way they act.

Pulling in the alley behind his house, he couldn't stop shaking.
He needed to find out why they thought the Klan was coming.
Yeah that would fix it. That old lady.
They know what happened to the deputy.... and the bank robbery .... yeah that's .... Uhhhhha .... he realized his head was splitting apart.
It hurt ... bad.

When he got out to open the garage door, it felt like his heart was bleeding.
There was no blood, but his hands were soaked when he ran them down the front of his shirt.
Where'd this water come from?

Next moment he was laying across the front seat and looking up at the headliner.
Something was on top of him but he couldn't see it and couldn't feel it, but it was there.
Maybe if I could ... gasping.

He started panicking and wanted to run to the house .... Oh ... no ... no ...
Oh please, not like this. I can't be dead.
Ruth and Joddie ... and baby ... his beautiful daughters. More than god could give him, he loved his family.

Joel got distracted by his father who was standing at the car door saying something. He strained to hear but the image disappeared ... Joel, squeaked out ... Dad ... uhhh ... come back ... gasping for breath.

His father was strong. He built the feed store with own his own hands, with help from Negroes. They worked through the cold months, even in the rain.
He remembered watching them set the big limestone blocks for the foundation after they brought them up from the depot on a wagon with 2 mules.
By the time the rafters went up, the whole town came out to help. Farmers and folks from Abbeyville. It was the biggest building for miles around. 
When the store opened in the spring, just before planting, the bankers and important people showed up and gave speeches. The picnic lasted two full days. People loved his father.

His chest felt better. It was a relief. Next thing he knew he was at his back door and didn't remember how he got there.
Stumbling into the house, he fell on the kitchen floor.
Ruth screamed.
Joddie heard the scream, jumped from bed and limped down the steps in a hurry.

Ruth was already on the phone calling Dr. Mason.

Dr Mason's office lady kept asking what's going on?
You say he can’t breathe? Is he breathing? What's going on?

Joddie grabbed the phone and Ruth sat back down crying and holding Joel's head.
It was pandemonium.

The office lady asked, can he breathe? Can he talk?
Yes .... he's talking.
Does he make sense?
Uhhh yeah ... ok well ... now he wants cold water.

I'll get him water Mom.

The phone was left dangling while Joddie took two steps to the sink, before grabbing the phone again.
Is he drinking?
Yes. He says he feels better now.

Oh wait, he's shaking ... and now he's ... he' crying ... on his side ... now he's on his back again.
What's he doing?
He's rolling around ... and crying.
Can he breathe?

Is he breathing, Mom? Ok, yes he's breathing ... but he's crying.
We need help. Where's the doctor?

I sent the boy, but it sounds like he's got the worries.
The worries?

Mom ... she says he's got the worries.
The worries?

The office lady added, well it's called hysteria, but men sometimes get the worries.

Mom, she says Dad's got the worries.
The worries?
That's what she said. It's hysteria, but when men get it.

For some reason that started Joel laughing.
Ruth was crying and squeezing his head ... it's a wonder the man could do anything with his head wedged in like that ... but now he was laughing.

With Joel laughing, Ruth started laughing between the sobs, then Joddie joined them on the floor.
Next thing you know all three were twisted together on the floor ... laughing ... about nothing ... except maybe it was a great day and Joel wasn't dying.

The phone was still dangling off the table. The office lady yelling, what's going on? Is he dead?
 
At least the office lady was mostly respectful not to gossip about important folks.
Dr Mason warned her ... frequently ... to some avail ... on occasion ... when nobody else was on the party line, which was the case right then.

Maggie came in the front door and heard laughing from the kitchen. She ran in and saw her family laying on their backs. For crying out loud, the place had become an insane asylum, and she'd only been gone an hour.

A minute later Howard and the oldest sister Bonnie came in the front door with the new baby, just in time for the scheduled lunch and they likewise discovered the family on the kitchen floor.

Joel yelled out in a big happy voice, Howard how are you? I was just getting ready to tell everybody about Big Harvester.

Bonnie already knew about Harvester and was all smiles and confused why everybody was on the floor, then together with Howard, who was now sitting in a chair, and Joel on his back, told Ruth, Joddie and Maggie the good news about the store and best yet, that Howard would be stepping up to the top spot.
It was perfect since Joel's health was apparently slipping.

That's when Dr. Mason rushed through the back door which was still wide open and discovered the scene, highly concerned about Joel's health, and about Joddie who seemed a fast recovery.
An exam at floor level revealed nothing alarming, but the doctor ordered Joel to take it easy the rest of the day, drink more water and maybe think about cutting back.
Ruth still on the floor next to her husband, asked the doctor if she should cut back too? That started more laughing.
The doctor agreed, and Ruth invited him to stay for lunch.
He declined, expecting to be at Latchy's after his morning appointments.

Naturally, the lady at the doctor's office was still listening on the phone, until Maggie picked it up and asked, who's on the phone?
That caused Ruth to say, oh my, which got everybody laughing again.

Joel, Ruth and Joddie were helped up and over to the dining room table. Maggie got them big glasses of water then served lunch with a bit of help from Howard, while refusing to let Ruth help. She deserved to sit and rest next to her husband

Lunch was amazing.
Howard was beaming with pride, happy beyond words and Bonnie full of chitter chatter over the new baby and all the fuss.
What a good baby, fast asleep. The baby, the new store, it was a huge opportunity, more than Howard ever imagined in his life.

Joel fell back into it and started thinking about Blacktown again. That damn woman. Instantly, the splitting headache was back on top and forced him to bow his head and look at the plate, then forced him to look at the Negroes that helped his father build the feed store ... the three Bell brothers.
They were up in the rafters. It wasn't his father. It was the Bell brothers: Louis, Marque and ... Joel forgot the last one.
They hoisted the timbers up to the roof. They hammered the spikes, and came every day, even the day it snowed. They barely had a coat to share. Joel's father bought them new shoes.
And what happened to them afterwards? Who remembers? Not Joel. But right now, it was better he honor the memory of those men and his father than die in front of his family.

Joel silently whispered, thank you dad, I won't forget ... and by doing that, the forgive card was laid to calm, unknown to Joel that the Deck of Life blessed him two cards, Poker and Forgive ... offering three chances and two choices and he made the best of each.

Joddie realized she felt safe for the first time in years.
It was sad but a relief that Bob was gone.
It was exciting that her baby was on the way even if everybody was gushing over the white baby and didn't mention hers.
Her life was still apart, still secret, and ushered to the side, but Joddie knew she could speak for herself when it was time ... just not today.

Ruth was proud of her daughters.
All of them were becoming full women.
She had seen the strain on Joel, and now Howard would carry the weight of the store and she would have more years with her husband.

Maggie saw her family together and wanted to run upstairs and cry.
She should have let it go and conquored the moment with joy, but other things were bothering her. The problem was River Boy.
She hated sneaking off to meet him, and now that Joddie was home, the reason for being with him was gone.
It was confusing, how'd she not see it before?

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