Off the seat of a bicycle
Chapter 53) The essential points of law

I was back in my Indiana hometown for the next year and a half and employed as a lumber-yard sales clerk. My girlfriend forgave me and I rented a $125 a month room for storage, and spent most nights with her.

The bike riding continued, but now, hardened from experience in Chicago, I took the full lane from any car.

In exchange, I followed car-law and came to a complete stop at traffic lights and stop signs, but demanded equal respect for my rights.

There are three reasons for taking the full lane.

First, as mentioned endlessly, cars don’t give a shit how they drive around cyclists. Every … every bicyclist says the same thing.

Second reason is about safety: when a bicycle spills over … and I say ‘when’ because every bicycle rider will fall over … and when the cyclist falls, he or she will sprawl wider than the tiny passing-space that motorist deem adequate. Motorists will pass under any condition no matter how crowded and dangerous the situation, yet bicycles are precariously balanced in the wind.

The third reason is about legality and has two parts. The first part is quite simple: if the cyclist yields his lane to the motorist, then the cyclist has given tacit approval for the car driver to pass in any manner they want. The second part is equally simple: If the cyclist refuses to yield his lane rights, then the cyclist has made a legal demand for equal protection under the law.

Taking the full lane is the only way a cyclist can gain the equal protection that is steadfastly refused by the government, and by taking the lane, the cyclist is proclaiming a demand for such rights.

For these reasons, I was not going to share a lane with car and rode in the center of ‘my lane’ and forced cars completely out (except when there was ample shoulder) … let ‘em wait their turn; my safety is more important than their haste.

And I want to add, that by becoming so visible to the motor vehicles, my bicycling was made safer since I became the big red flag that motorists want cyclists to put on their bikes.

Frankly, I was totally sick of endangerment by every 10th car coming down the street, and absolutely dared car drivers to encroach, and would keep moving my bike out toward the center until they passed legally or faded back to continue the argument.

Most drivers got a shocked or disgusted look on their face and then made a legal pass. Some rolled down the window and forked out an adjective … I never responded to insult, only to threats and illegal endangerment … but certainly these drivers just saw a crazy man acting weirder than a postal worker.

Sometimes cars refused to pass; choosing instead to keep the situation volatile.

When that happened, I looked backward with a totally empty face until the entire intent of the driver was clear … and believe me, I could read it all. I could see every twitch and shift toward the brake or gas pedal, and every rage or fear in their eyes. I just kept looking at them and telling them I had seen it before, and they weren’t going to threaten me: they were going to comply with the law and make a considered legal pass.

I was refusing to give tacit approval for a motorist to endanger me.

Some guys got wrenched up and would pass and then get back in front and pull to a stop … some guys would pull over and get out of their car, making a truly confrontational situation. They were demanding their right to ase-run defenseless unprotected people on the road. They were defying the constitution and defending society’s hallowed institution of car-driver assault.

I didn’t want to fight. It was about my legal right to safe passage, and my legal right to be left alone, and their legal duty to make a considered legal pass. I wanted safe passage and equal rights … I did not want to make friends with the ‘rock-throwers’ from Wichita.

… I wanted the law changed so I could go for a Sunday-drive through town without being endangered by outright illegal behavior.

I had a lot of answers for problem drivers: Sometimes I would graze their bumper and cause a make-believe accident; or put the bike at the driver’s window and say something; or in especially virulent situations, kick inside the window at their head; or hit the side-view mirror hard; or clunk the door panel. I knew how to play ‘charging-bull’ with cars.

My threat backed most people off. However with guys who got out of their cars, I usually stopped short of them, and would make them leave their car and come toward me … they would need to openly demonstrate their assaultive intent, but these guys didn’t see themselves as assaultive … they were just defending their government-supported car-driver rights. But this technique worked on a more basic level … because car drivers don’t like to leave their car … it makes them naked, lol.

Most drivers become people once they exit their car, and suddenly the world looms larger than their car-ego. You can practically see them transform in front of your eyes.

However in Chicago and two other times that I remember, guys got out to attack me. In all three instances I kept riding and raised my screwdriver over my head to let them know I would defend myself. You have to figure that anybody who is threatening to knock down a cyclist is willing to break the cyclist’s neck.

One guy came running at me with a blackjack. I dismounted quick and put the front wheel of the bike in his face and kept bouncing it in his face until he got so frustrated that he started hitting the tire. A moment later he got in his car and screeched off. It was just another day at the office … I never reported anything.

Dan the Informer had a very interesting story when he taught school in Pasadena, TX. He was wearing a shirt and tie and riding on the right edge of a busy road at rush hour. A guy came up behind him started honking, so Dan gave the little zig-zag that bicyclists use to ask for room on the road. The driver barely missed Dan and pulled off the road and rushed back at Dan who had stopped and dismounted behind the guy’s truck.

The guy started flailing away at Dan and backed him completely across a lawn until Dan fell over backwards in the bushes, LOL. After that the guy raced off in his truck.

I still laugh every time I think of that story.

Of course no motorists stopped to see if Dan was okay, because that’s ordinary behavior, and the government won’t intervene and say otherwise.

Bicycle activism is a very dangerous business … but no more dangerous than merely riding a bike.

It was 1979-81 and I was a full-blown bicycle activist, and that was pretty fucking outrageous; forcing constitutional law without permission from the majority.

Chapter 54) The Pallet Theory
Chapter 55) Another police tailgater
Index of chapters